Family
Parting Gift
After having been through (well, I’m currently going through) this process of planning and “hosting” my father’s memorial service, I have learned something I feel compared to share with you, readers. Before you die – plan your own damn funeral. Really. Leave no room for interpretation. Especially and specifically if you have children. Help them avoid, in a time of great grief, wondering how you would have wanted it or, worse yet, fighting about it. Never let them ask themselves or their siblings whether to serve canapés or cheese croutons. Find a location. Find an alternate location. Set the budget and set that money aside. Plan the menu as a guideline. Choose the flowers. Pick a program layout. Select the readings. Set the tone. Do you want people from out of town to have a place to gather before or after? Do you want a wake? Do you want to call it a funeral, life celebration or memorial? Should kids come? Really. Make these decisions. Don’t leave them to a bunch of people who are a grieving mess and have busy lives. It sucks.
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3 comments for “Parting Gift”
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My Dad has all of the songs picked out that he wants us to play during his service and then we are supposed to all toast him. I have always made fun of him but after reading your post I suppose the ol goat knows what he is talking about!
Deidre, when the (unfortunate) time comes, it will be helpful to you to have that information. Even if only as a guide. So yeah, stop making fun of him for it!
Hey Molly,
Stumpy wrote his own obituary! Really he did and I always thought it was so morbid, but yes, I guess he too knew what he was doing! As for your Dad’s service, it was beautiful and so honored your Dad. You did well!